How to properly transition into the summer
The Cherish Parenting Newsletter Issue #21
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💭 Change ≠ Transition
Change and transition are not the same thing. In a nutshell, change is situational while transition is psychological. Transitions are the inner re-orientation needed to integrate the changes we experience in life, where as changes happen regardless of whether we take time to process it. As a result, we rarely consciously make time for transitions in our fast-paced lives.
Part of the challenge is that transitions require letting go of something and making time for a "fallow period" between an ending and a new beginning. These can feel unnatural when we're often measured by our productivity. So, instead, we attempt to fill our lives back up as soon as we are faced with the emptiness of an ending. Yet, it's the "empty" periods that allow us to take perspective and move forward into the new chapter intentionally.
So as your teen's school year closes (a change), we're sharing some ideas for how to consciously transition into the summer.
☀️ Tips for transitioning into summer
Take a break - What would it be like to have nothing planned? Let your teen sleep in and encourage them to be mindfully aware of what they'd like to do in each present moment. If you have the luxury of being able to join them (perhaps for just the weekend), do so!
Process the end of the year - It's been a long, hard year for many. Check in with how they're feeling about how the year went (with no judgement, of course), their biggest disappointments and wins, and the changes they notice in themselves after this past school year. Reflecting on both the growth and challenges can help them be more aware of how to plan for the future.
Discuss what they'd like to get out of the summer - Ask about how they'd like to feel by the end of their summer. Victorious? Refreshed? Enriched? Also consider, what are the things they've been putting off but would like to try. Do they have ideas for new ways to bolster their self care or improve their mental stamina over the summer while there's time to practice?
Talk about your concrete visions for the summer - After relaxing and reflecting together, take the goals from the previous discussion point and turn them into a concrete vision. What are their expectations for what the summer should look like on a day to day level, and what are your expectations? Are there new chores, schedules, or hobbies they'd like to try? How should all this look structurally across the summer? If their plan differs from your vision, discuss why it might differ! Lastly, make sure to discuss where you each hope for some accountability and flexibility. Avoid making the conversation one-sided and only about their summer plans - share your plans too and offer them opportunities to help you stay accountable as well. At the end of the day, having some routine and structure for everyone can help your family stay on track while making sure to get some relaxing time in as well.
Pick something special to include - There's value in doing something that is an end in itself. If your teen has a special project they've been meaning to do just for fun, encourage them to actively make time for it in their schedule. Similarly, try to come up with a project that the two of you can tackle for some bonding time. Some ideas: create a family recipe book, try making 10 different types of their favorite dessert, grow a backyard garden, make a scrapbook, reach a fitness milestone together, or read a fiction book together.
❤️ More things we Cherish
If you have 1 minute - check out these dinner conversation cards to try with your teen
If you have 5 minutes - Have a teen still looking for a summer job? Here's how you can help.
Deeper dive - We found this TedTalk about procrastination really interesting. So often, procrastination is about emotions and being able to figure out why and what you're really trying to put off can help you make sure you're doing what's important!
What do you Cherish? Share a tip, story, or question you may have around parenting teens with us by replying to this email!
About Cherish
Cherish combines research and empathetic support in the form of 1:1 parent coaching, curated parent circles, and personalized content to help parents develop the skills, awareness, and community needed to parent confidently. We know being a parent can be tough - and it’s even tougher as your kids hit their teenage years. That’s why we created Cherish to support you each step of the way!
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